Home alone

The title of this post says it all.  I am home alone.  On Tuesday, I brought Dave and Joseph to the airport, stood with them in the security line, blew them a kiss when they went through the gate, and haven't seen them since.

Dave's dad is having back problems and has a surgery coming up soon.  Several weeks ago, Dave mentioned that he thought it would be neat to go to Cambridge, reconnect with family, and help out around the house.  It wasn't long after agreeing that that was a good idea that we realized it was an even better idea if he took Joseph with him.  As much as Dave's parents would LOVE having Dave on his own, we were sure that they would LOVE-LOVE-LOVE to have Joseph too.  Plus, it would be extremely challenging for me to work all week and single-parent.  Plus, Joseph still flies free.  So, tickets were purchased and off they went.

At church yesterday, a lot of people asked me how my week home alone was going... and that's given me ample opportunity to reflect.  On the whole, I'd say that being home alone has been really good.

Here's a few reasons why:

I've eaten a giant spinach salad every day for dinner and have not had to worry about the fact that it is not a toddler-friendly meal.

I've waited to wash my dishes and have not had to deal with a husband who has a deep conviction that dishes must be washed immediately after use.

I've had morning showers, afternoon baths, and a few long, uninterrupted opportunities to binge on my favourite TV show.

All of the above elude to the fact that being home alone means having nearly complete control of my own diet, schedule, and activities.  It's been kinda fun to experience again what it's like to answer the questions "What do I want to eat today?" "What do I want to do today?" without having to negotiate the answers with others. 

But there are other things that have made this week good too.  Things of more significance. 

Being home alone has reminded me that even though my husband and son are a very big part of my life, they are not the whole of my life.  Given how much physical and emotional and spiritual energy goes into being a wife and mother, it's easy to think that without those roles, there wouldn't be much of me left!  But that's simply not true.  My life has gone on.  There have been visits to make and concerts to attend and friendships to enjoy.  There have been prayers to pray and worship services to lead and walks in the sunshine to experience.  There have been emails to send and errands to run and Spin class to endure.  All that is to say, it's been very good to have a week of remembering that "Brittney" is more than "Brittney-wife-of-David" and "Brittney-mother-of-Joseph".

At the very same time, it is also just as true that being home alone has been good because it's reminded me that even though my husband and son are not the whole of my life, they are a very wonderful part of my life.  I've missed them.  I've missed them a lot.  In fact, it's pretty much a guarantee that after we spend a few minutes on FaceTime, I have myself a little cry.  Because I just think that Dave and Joseph are the best.  And seeing them is not as satisfying as giving them a hug.  As much as it's been a break to not have to plan around other people's naps and needs and expectations, I like investing in the community of our family.  And as much as there are plenty of worth-while things to busy myself with, I like to be busy with wife-and-mother-related things too.  So Dave and Joseph truly are wonderful.  And getting to do life with them truly is gift. 

Today is my last day of being home alone.  Tomorrow I return to the airport where they'll be waiting for their wife and mom.  Until then the plan is this:  eat spinach salad, go to the gym, and watch some TV.  Then, after enjoying a final evening of doing my own thing, climb into bed and hope that I can actually sleep - because I am very, very excited to have Dave and Joseph back again.